Secrets to stay happy no matter how hard life seems
Sometimes in our lives, something will happen that will leave you feeling like you have no way out. It will seem like the end of the world but it’s not. Maybe you lost a job, a family member or just something shook up your entire being and you don’t know how to move on. But here is one thing about life that most people don’t even realize; a little part of your life is controlled by circumstances while the larger part is decided by how you react to those circumstances. Sometimes it is in enduring those darkest moments that you are reborn a stronger and happier version of yourself. Yes, circumstances will sometimes break you to your lowest, but you can rise again and rebuild your life. Here are some of the ways how you can be happy regardless of what’s going on in your life;
1.Accept What You Have
Research shows that happy people have modest levels of expectation and aspirations — they want what they can get — while unhappy people never seem to get what they want. They also know how to avoid disappointments and how to generate pleasant surprises. This is because they strive for realistic goals and are happy with their lot. ‘We spend a lot of time complaining about the things that happen to us, but this is a waste of time and effort’. ‘To be happy, we need to enjoy what we have.’
2.Enjoy what you do
Happy people do what they enjoy and enjoy what they do — and don’t do it for the money or glory. There’s no point being stuck in a job you hate, surrounded by unfriendly colleagues just because the money is good — people forget that they are allowed to be happy at work, too. Many spend the best years of their lives trying to make money, sacrificing their health and family in the process.
3.Live for today
Don’t dwell on the past, on things that went wrong or previous failures. Similarly, don’t dream about an idealised future that doesn’t exist or worry about what hasn’t happened yet. Happy people live for the now; they have positive mind sets. If you can’t be happy today, what makes you think tomorrow will be different?
Don’t be afraid to step back and re-evaluate your goals. Imagine your life as a story that you can edit and revise as you go along. This kind of flexible approach requires positive thinking and an open mind — you need to actively choose to be happy.
The best way to savour pleasure is in the company of others. Build a rich social life. Active, busy, social people are the healthiest and happiest, in society. Get involved: make your motto ‘use it or lose it.’
Ambition is healthy and makes people happy, but envy makes them unhappy. Yet comparisons with others can spoil the benefits of ambition and are only useful if you learn something from them. Focus on your goals and dreams so you can enjoy your ambition and achievements.
Just as you shouldn’t compare yourself with others, it’s important not to worry about what others think about you — then you can truly be yourself. Happy people are spontaneous, natural and real; they say what they think and feel, and aren’t concerned what others think of them. Being oneself makes one feel free and authentic.
You might envy those laid-back bohemian types who just do things on the spur of the moment, but don’t be fooled. Happy people plan and organise, they have goals and a purpose. You can only get what you want or desire if you know what it is you want or desire in the first place. So while those chilled-out friends might seem happy, they’re actually just drifting along.
Bottling up emotions and bad feelings creates psychological distress and physical discomfort. Happy people get things off their chest, their motto is: get rid of it, or it will get rid of you. Similarly, work at developing optimistic thinking; happy people always look on the bright side. We need to switch from a negative, glass-half-empty outlook to a glass-half-full and put optimism into practice to be happiest. Optimism is the mind’s natural self-defence mechanism against depression.
Happiness can be learned, but finding meaning and a purpose in life is what leads to it, not the other way around. The happiest people appreciate and realise that being happy adds years to their life, and life to their years.