CAMPUS BOYS AND WAMAMAZ: CULTURE, CHANGE OR JUST A TREND?

I will be honest with you all. The rate at which campus men of our age are avoiding us and going for our mothers is alarming. It has always been these campus young girls indulging with older men but now it has become like  a competition. Are we deviating from our cultural virtues or is it just a change in trend? However, my question is;  are these boys reciprocating, after money or is just peer pressure?  Out of curiosity, I decided to carry out some research.

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In a random interview with some of these boys I put together the following findings:  According to John, a car wash attendant at a local car wash junction, I learnt that most of these boys are lured to these older women popularly known as” wamamas” due to their financial prowess and also as a revenge to the girls. He added that Men should come to terms with the fact that women get it easy in life because of looks and youthfulness. They tend to seek men who are wealthy regardless of age due to the maternal instinct to ensure their offspring’s success is at hand.  In a disappointed tone, he argues; “Dear men, this game is a losing battle; henceforth you can seek a “mumama” knowing that you’re not seen as a man but an object because she only needs you for the game. Ladies get away with it easily but for a man you are regarded weak and lazy, looking for a quicker route to bust and make money which is the main reason men want older women. “

Campus boys: Wamamaz are a thrill

Kelvin on the other hand seemed to have a contrary opinion; “wamamaz are a thrill by themselves, fun, sweet. Imagine having someone way older than you submit to you, trust you with her body, wealth, everything. She feels like you’re the final solution”. He adds that he has had encounters with three, and the only problem is, they fall in love easily because for them, finding someone who satisfies them, respects them, and makes them feel appreciated is rare. That’s when they start pushing you toward dating, which according to him feels wrong.

Campus love: What the said on social media

In a social media post about the same, men seemed to have different opinions on the issue. Some seemed to praise it and others obviously condemned it. However, there was this particular comment which caught my attention where a man was pissed off by a comment where some babe was trying to shame men into not pursuing older ladies and convincing her gender on why it’s a bad idea but it all stems from misandry. Women are always in competition with each other and it’s this reality that men can be appreciated just like women do without the shame.

He adds that men dating older women aren’t complaining of feeling used, “grooming” or coddling, just like women but benefiting financially.  Women don’t feel like men should have it easy as them. He argues that women will often speak of ‘real men’ because to them, suffering is a love language to show how much you like her by spending up to the last coin of their last salary so she can have an “Instagram moment.”

Women did not seem to sit well with this statement and of course there was exchange of thoughts but he boldly stood to defend his statement and concluded that women are against the idea that women are doing exactly the same thing men have been doing to them and that the reality is they should work hard, get money and then get themselves younger boys “Ben 10” because it is a cycle that will repeat.

It is true women had to go through so much until society started treating age gap relationships like something normal. Similarly, can we argue that men are doing the same with less of the downsides? And that it just a matter of time before the society normalizes?

We can dissect this discussion all we want but can we conclude that these young men are after money? Or it is because these girls are pushing and pressuring them to live beyond their means? Or maybe it it’s a trend or pressure from peers?

In conclusion, whether this growing trend is a form of revenge, survival, or maybe a simple attraction, it reflects society’s shifting values about love, power, and gender roles. In addition, just as women once fought to normalize relationships with older partners, men now seem to be doing the same perhaps with consequences. For instance, to cope with her you have to adapt to their schedules and social life which means your opinions barely matters.  Now the concern is whether this is a temporary phase driven by social pressure, or a lasting redefinition of relationships in modern society.

Daina Mwende Paul, 22, is a journalism student at KCA University, Nairobi.

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